Hello Naga!

We will go to Naga on Thursday, for a 5 day visit to our satellite office  there. It's purely business though. But I hope to see Mayon. I mean it might be my only chance to see it. I don't go to Naga everyday.

Famous for its perfectly shaped-cone Mayon volcano is found in Bicol. Tourists always added Mayon Volcano to their itinerary not only to see personally the majestic sight this volcano offers but also to see the famous Cagsawa church bell tower. It is the only thing left when a massive eruption burried the whole Cagsawa during the early 1800’s. When you visit Mayon volcano, be sure to buy souvenir items and taste the famous pili nut candy.

One down, a million things to go

(Sigh) The quarterly reporting is done. I survived it. It's like a big rock has been lifted off my shoulders. But I don't feel like celebrating, because that's just one of a gazillion things I have to face before the year ends. Oh God, please give me the strength to face all of it.

Things to do to snap out of it

Okay, I have been thinking, and I think if I want to get my life on track these are the things I have to do:

1. Even though I hate my job now, it's the only job I have and there are no other prospects at the moment, so I have to do better at work, because I can't afford to get fired. I have to go to work early so I don't feel cranky when I'm running late and it's so hot because it's almost noon and the sun is at its hottest. And my bosses are beginning to notice my tardiness. I have got to finish all my projects. The mid-year planning session is coming up.
2. I have to stop being so damned afraid. I have been dreading the mid-year planning session, I said to myself I'm gonna face it this time. Because at the year-end planning session, I chickened out and I took off and it disappointed my boss. It would only take 5 minutes of my life and I think it won't kill me. I will survive it. Plus, it's not like I'm gonna be facing the smartest, wisest people on earth. Some of them are not that smart.
3. I have to stop buying things that are not important. I will hide my credit card and hopefully forget where I hid it. I know it's dumb but... I have been spending money I don't have. And I plan not to use my credit card until I've paid all my dues.
   

Well that's all I've got for now. It's not much but it's a start..

Wake Up Joy!

These past few weeks, I feel like I have been sleeping (actually, all I wanted to do was, in fact it still is, sleep) I feel like the last few months of my life has slipped by and I didn't even notice it. I have got to get my self together. Time is flying by so fast, and I don't want to wake up one day and realize my life is over. I don't know how or where to start but, I have to snap out of this. I have to. I have got to get all my affairs in line, starting with my finances which is way out of line. I have been spending money I don't have. If I want to get out of the job I'm presently stuck in, I have to save. If I want to do the things, I have been dreaming about (like traveling), I have to start now. Oh God please help me. I feel like my mind has been on a stand by, and it's so easy to just lie back and watch my life drift by. I don't like what's happening to me and I'm powerless to stop it. At least I think I am. How do I snap out of this?

I hate my self

I hate my self. Right now I'm plagued with self-loathing. I did it again, lost my self control and consequently hurting the people I love. It's my self that I hate, not them. Everything that's happening to me, every single thing that went wrong was because of my own doing. Aaarrrggghhh!

I chickened out!

A few weeks before the planning session, I decided I wasn't gonna run away from fear anymore. I said to myself, I am going to face this no matter what happens. I said there's no point in running away because I can't escape any longer. I just had to accept the fact that it's going to be like this from now on. Then, on the night before the actual planning session, where I had to stand before all the officers, managers and of course the top management and present my report, I panicked. I chickened out and I took off. I didn't care anymore. I just had to run away. Again.

A Bad Day

I feel down. My birthday is coming up. I feel like nothing in my life is where it's supposed to be. I'm tired and my dreams aren't as appealing as they used to be. They don't bring comfort any more. When I'm having a bad day, I turn to my dreams and they bring me hope.

I have been fighting it, this hopelessness, and there are days that it's stronger than me, than my dreams. Looks like today is a bad day.