My prayers for Ewad

Lord God these are my prayers for Ewad:

1. That he'll be there tomorrow because by showing up, things are not as bad as I fear.
2. That they've worked out, or at least there is hope of working things out.
3. That he's alright.
4. That he won't resign at least not in the near future.
5. That he's alright. Never mind me. But please make me ok too.
6. That there is hope of correcting this with Gail, that she hasn't seen the chats.
7. That we can still fix this (Please Father God)
8. That if all of the above is granted; I will leave them alone (I need help with this Father God)

My Prayers for myself:

1. That I would be able to wake up in the morning and not have panic attacks.
2. That I would be able to still see the world as a happy place to live in.
3. That I would still have hope.

Ewad checks in just in time...

October 3, 2011 - I miss him so much it hurts. He checks in and everything's okay. I tell myself, I have to start trying to live without him, but I don't know if I can do that.

EWAD

All of the things written here seemed so meaningless. And the person who wrote them, she doesn't exist anymore. She is a new person now. Her world, her dreams, her beliefs, everything she felt; all of these have changed. All because of one person. Ewad. How can that be? How can one person take your life, turn it upside down and so completely messed up that you don't recognize it anymore. This new me, I don't know her. All her joys, her happiness, her dreams, her heart, Ewad holds them now. And if Ewad leaves which is a very likely possibility, her world would become a gloomy, lonely, unlivable place with no air, no colors, just a nameless unfathomable sadness. She's scared. So scared.

Daragang Magayon

Well I did see Mayon, and it was nothing like I've ever imagined. If she was a celebrity I could say that I was starstruck. She was simply breathtaking. Above are a couple of pictures I took. Legaspi is beautiful, I think I like it better than Naga (which is a little more congested, kinda like Manila) but I don't know, I haven't seen much of it except the city. All in all Camsur is a great place to go, I would go there again in a heartbeat. I loved my stay there even though it was mostly work. And one more thing, the food is great. I think I gained a couple of pounds. I couldn't stop eating, their bicol express is soooo good. We ate at Triboo Grill and Graceland. Both their bicol express are so good. I also tried burger at Bigg's, much better than the leading fast food chains in the country.

Hello Naga!

We will go to Naga on Thursday, for a 5 day visit to our satellite office  there. It's purely business though. But I hope to see Mayon. I mean it might be my only chance to see it. I don't go to Naga everyday.

Famous for its perfectly shaped-cone Mayon volcano is found in Bicol. Tourists always added Mayon Volcano to their itinerary not only to see personally the majestic sight this volcano offers but also to see the famous Cagsawa church bell tower. It is the only thing left when a massive eruption burried the whole Cagsawa during the early 1800’s. When you visit Mayon volcano, be sure to buy souvenir items and taste the famous pili nut candy.

One down, a million things to go

(Sigh) The quarterly reporting is done. I survived it. It's like a big rock has been lifted off my shoulders. But I don't feel like celebrating, because that's just one of a gazillion things I have to face before the year ends. Oh God, please give me the strength to face all of it.

Things to do to snap out of it

Okay, I have been thinking, and I think if I want to get my life on track these are the things I have to do:

1. Even though I hate my job now, it's the only job I have and there are no other prospects at the moment, so I have to do better at work, because I can't afford to get fired. I have to go to work early so I don't feel cranky when I'm running late and it's so hot because it's almost noon and the sun is at its hottest. And my bosses are beginning to notice my tardiness. I have got to finish all my projects. The mid-year planning session is coming up.
2. I have to stop being so damned afraid. I have been dreading the mid-year planning session, I said to myself I'm gonna face it this time. Because at the year-end planning session, I chickened out and I took off and it disappointed my boss. It would only take 5 minutes of my life and I think it won't kill me. I will survive it. Plus, it's not like I'm gonna be facing the smartest, wisest people on earth. Some of them are not that smart.
3. I have to stop buying things that are not important. I will hide my credit card and hopefully forget where I hid it. I know it's dumb but... I have been spending money I don't have. And I plan not to use my credit card until I've paid all my dues.
   

Well that's all I've got for now. It's not much but it's a start..